Presence of Mind

 

One important skill that is all too frequently overlooked in our busy day to day lives is "The Presence of Mind" I've written a related article, about this several years ago but I think it is now more important than ever so here is a refresher.

First, it is important to understand why you need to be aware of the moment, or to put it another way, not on autopilot. Autopilot and routines can be useful especially if you're involved in something which must progress very efficiently. But they also will remove you from reality and since you only have one life to live, as far as you know at this moment, and really you don't want to miss anything. Because mother nature does not believe in the concept of reruns.

The steps are for putting yourself in the present are straightforward:

1. If you are multitasking while you are reading this short article, stop and pay attention to what you are reading now. Become focused on just this one task. If only for a few minutes, but make those few minutes count.. Be prepared to put a little effort into this if your mind wanders off after a few seconds. This is especially true if you spent a lot of time in autopilot. The brain does not like a change in routine.
   
   
2. Take stock of your environment. Look around, not swiftly, but deliberately. Take note of any emotions or thoughts which occur. If you have an urge to write them down or otherwise record them do so.
   
   
3. Check in with your feelings. Are there any stressors or other emotional aspects you weren't aware of before you put the brakes on the autopilot? If so pay attention to them and make note of any actions you would like to take.
   
   
4. You should do this short routine three times a day. It will help put you in the centre of control and is usually quite eye-opening after being done for a few days.

The reason that the presence of mind steps can be so "eye-opening" is because when we are spending large parts of our lives and in automatic mode we frequently don't notice the issues affecting us on various levels and therefore don't pay the necessary amount of attention to them they require. By being aware of yourself and surroundings including emotions you can frequently deal with issues while there are still small and save yourself a lot of grief down the road.

Personally I am convinced especially now that I have lived in assisted living for four years that is in some measure determined by how much listen to your surroundings. There are quite a number of people in my building who are constantly distracted and very reactive. The trouble is they don't know what they are on ultimate autopilot and I frequently find myself thinking "No wonder, they are in poor health. Things have probably been going wrong for them physically for a long time and I haven't stopped to notice." An analogy would be, if a phone was running low on battery power and yet the owner insisted on keeping the brightness set to maximum, then it is no wonder the phone died. But if they had charged the unit up regularly not only with the phone not be running out of power, but the battery would probably last longer.

In summary then: One of the keys to improving one's life is to stop and pay attention, then take the actions necessary.

Take care Patrick

Overthinking and Hidden Habits

 

Many years ago I read a book called "Using Your Brain for a Change" (I've mentioned that book previously on this blog because it is so good. See the article: "Do we all live in our own abridged reality?") One of the things it pointed out was you don't normally react to a situation it self, what you react to initially is your perception of the situation. That is, if you think a particular food is going to taste bad then it very likely will.

Using Your Brain--For a Change:
Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)
By Richard Bandler

Publisher: Real People Press
Year : 1985
ISBN numbers: 9780911226263, 9780911226270, 0911226265, 0911226273

• Listing on WorldCat Library index
•  Listing on Google Books

People tend to bring their reality into alignment with their belief system. And one's belief system can be very, very powerful. But many of us don't realize it, because our belief system is not often scrutinized. For the most part it's on autopilot and doing what ever it likes. It's also very fast, especially when taking the form of an emotion. In such a case, your conscious mind has been conditioned to just follow along. Whether you like it or not.

So the first thing to do is pay attention to how aware you are of your surroundings. This is the beginning step of taking your self off autopilot. Just stop right now for example, and take stock of what there is to notice. Do this a few times throughout the day. Then consider if you have any opinions about what you've noticed:

•  Is there anything you would like to change?
• Are there any unexpected reactions to your environment when you actually pay conscious attention to it?

Just this simple act of taking yourself off autopilot can yield so much information. I recommend you don't go overboard but just pick one or two things to modify or perhaps make notes on.  

Now, for Those Hidden Habits:

Have you ever found yourself in a position where you have a straightforward task to perform and yet even before starting you fear that you will fail to complete it?

Taking an initial great idea and becoming overly worried about it because of perceived fear some aspect is going to have a greater impact in reality than it usually does. This habit has an effect that I bet you never thought about.

It keeps you from taking a risk, and risk is built into all new endeavours. Even though you may become this frustrated as hell. It is possible that subconsciously part of you is relieved. The trouble is unless you address what you are feeling and begin to deconstruct it, this automatic "kill switch" will just keep firing whenever a new endeavour or idea wonders by.

I talked with many people were very frustrated because in their own words "I can never get anything off the ground. The more I try the more frustrated I become a mineralogist give up." After a little more investigation most of the time it is revealed that they start with the initial idea and then they keep building requirements on to it. Before they know it may become overwhelmed.

The thing to do in this situation is take the first simple and thereby doable version of the idea and implement that. Instead of trying to get the concept perfect. This is one of the best ways to start things. Frequently, my article start with the simplest of ideas and rather than waiting until I got some sort of Mangum openness, I type the first sentence into the online editor of my blog. That gets me going, and because it actually creates a draft entry of the article on the site it makes it just a little bit more real. Now, not all ideas come to fruition. Sometimes I find other sites covering the same topic and doing much better job. In which case I may simply reference them in an later article. Sometimes what seemed as a great idea doesn't hold water the next day. It's is all part of my creative process. The big point here is that you start with whatever you've got.

This also conditions you to not overthinking everything and actually getting something off the ground. Over 12 years ago when I started this blog it sat dormant for many years and then one day boat four years ago I just decided to start adding content and now we are at 165 articles. They are not all by any means literary masterpieces, but slowly and surely I am getting better at this and the monthly views are following suit. At this point in time I can't even remember why I started the site and that doesn't matter. What matters is I enjoy what I'm doing and I know in a small way I am adding content and value to the good old Internet😀

So don't think too much about a new idea but take steps toward a small goal as fast as you can. That helps keep it real and gets you going on whatever the adventure is.

The other thing I hear a great deal when talking with people is ingrained automatic habits that they are barely aware of . These habits can have great effects both positive and negative. Here's an example:

A coffee lover who has an important event in next day. Normally they enjoy their Java throughout the day. But in this case the night before and have to be alert at their event they drink double the amount of coffee. Because that is what to do when they're nervous. Of course but they don't always realize is that they are guaranteeing themselves to have a bad night's rest. Breaking this little habit for them is very challenging. They have relied on this mechanism for a long time. Even though it is totally counterproductive and works against them ultimately.

This same scenario can take different forms but you get the idea. Small little habits that don't seem to be harmful at all and yet if you're not totally aware of what you're doing these little routines can spell a guaranteed scuttling of your ship. So start tracking what you're doing will you go throughout your day especially when you're in stressful moments. I have a feeling you are going to find a few of these little habits kicking around and actually ingrained behaviour can become someone conscious that the only way you know it's there is because of your emotional reaction.

Take care,and as usual feel free to leave comments.

Patrick

Can Moods Become Habit?

 

 "It Is Never Good To Go Through Life On Autopilot." 

Can a mood become an ingrained habit? That is to say, can a particular mood or state of mind become a default reaction to a given situation. More importantly, can one afford such a knee-jerk an automatic reaction in a healthy life.

To my mind it is kind of like handing over the driver's keys will mild form of enslavement particularly if the mood is a negative one. This is going to be a very short article or note I just thought just occurred to me. People frequently say "He woke up in a bad mood." I think if that happens regularly and without reflection on what's going on to perpetuate this state is a dangerous situation. Because the person is handing over responsibility for how well they will function in life to a belief. It can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. They wake up in a bad mood and convince themselves there is nothing they can do about it and then the sages been set for the cycle to continue. Essentially because they literally expect to wake up in this negative mood.

I would like to put forward that this is a situation which the person cannot afford. One must not give in to habit or routine. It is much better to constantly be critical of a feeling and if they find that the state they are in is part of a pattern take the responsibility and action to change it. In this way one gets to know their inner workings and ultimately who they are. As I've said many times on this blog it is never good to go through life on autopilot or to follow a routine without considering the benefits and consequences of that routine.

Often people will tell me they don't have the time to reflect on their life or situation and use this as a rationale for not taking action. But you see, no one else can change your life other than you. This journey of understanding one's moods and motivations is an ongoing event throughout life. As you think and feel events, take each one as an opportunity to make a decision. In that way you are not governed by a mood but instead learn something about yourself and indeed those around you.

So if you woke up this morning in a bad mood, take the opportunity to see what can be changed about how you are feeling. My suggestion is as you analyse, right your thoughts and feelings down. This makes it a much more personal experience and you will be surprised about the avenues to a solution you find.

Have a great day!
Patrick

How Do You Make Decisions?

 Have you ever considered the nuances that make up your decision-making process? Particularly the subtler influences, mood, personal biases, and perhaps the time available to make the decision.

This idea occurred to me while I was working on some course material for of all things in computer science class. Some of the exercises I would solve an entirely different way and what was given as the official answer. This really got me thinking about all the factors that go into the thousands of decisions everyone makes each day. We all have our own. Background routines at run almost unconsciously as we approach each situation. Most of the time we are blissfully unaware of the machinery it gets us to the answer.

On those days when one feels exceptionally focused and together the quality of the decision-making process also improves. It is surprising that more emphasis on what goes in to a person's process isn't talked about early in school. Because after all one's decisions are the fundamental building blocks of one's life.

Being aware of what makes up your own decision-making processes is a very powerful thing indeed. Especially if you take control of the subtle emotions and biases. Fiat the next time you find yourself faced with a decision. Look at what is really being brought together in your mind. Have you ever had this happen to you:

You are put in a situation abruptly (usually something new and unexpected) and for whatever reason you feel that you cannot deal with it successfully and therefore a mental block is produced. It becomes a self-fulfilling situation. But if a similar circumstance occurs at a moment when you're feeling really good about the day somehow a solution is arrived at or at the very least you are not so negatively impacted by an unsuccessful outcome.

What are the differences in those two situations? I think basically the answer to it is understanding the influences particularly emotional ones. I do know that the more present you are in any given situation the better the outcome is. The other step to take is turning off your personal autopilot with familiar situations. Just because a particular situation is very familiar to you doesn't mean that you shouldn't review and be aware of your emotions and actions for that circumstance.

Just food for thought. As always let me know what you think in the comments.
Patrick

How Do You Find Questions to Answer?

How Do You Find Questions to Answer?

When I first pondered this question, my initial answer was that ideas were always occurring to me pretty much automatically. They would just pop in out of nowhere. Then I realized that behind every question there is always a story something, somewhere spurred me on to first the question and then developing an answer. Nothing occurs in a vacuum 😀.

First and foremost regarding how to find questions to answer is the act of paying attention. Too many people have a tendency to go on autopilot during their busy days and forget to take the occasional break from the routine. Breaking away whatever you're doing is a critical step in finding new things to explore. But this breaking away must be done according to your timing. This is not to be confused as an interruption of your workflow which is always counterproductive when it occurs because it takes so much time to get your mental thought pattern back in gear. No, when you choose to break away and investigate something else it must be your own personal choice. This will usually have the great effect of improving your creativity and sense of freedom if done over a period of time let's say a month. This deliberate shifting of gears can be very refreshing indeed.

Another thing you can do to keep your mind inquisitive and finding questions to answer is deliberately seek something that is a little mentally challenging. I believe the human brain was built for a challenge something that stretches your boundaries a little bit and increases your understanding and knowledge base. What ever it is it needs to be done regularly. It is like a workout, the more you do the more you get back from the exercise.

That is actually one of the reasons this blog was originally started, to give myself the daily challenge of coming up with the new thought or idea. At first it seemed like a daunting undertaking because there is that much really occur in a person's life that there is enough to write about every day… The answer is if you pay attention yes there definitely is. An exercise you can undertake to prove this is:

Pick several days in a row in which you make a promise to yourself to notice the interactions you go through with people and events. I can guarantee that you will find something to either record or write about. This is one of those rare instances where things will actually come to you. Of course you are undertaking a deliberate decision to look for them. My own personal goal is to try to write something from now on every day. This doesn't always occur but it is usually because time or other activities prevent it. --You know, when life throws you a small curveball 😀. It is important when these curveballs get thrown at you that you don't become discouraged. Keep noticing your interactions.In the same way also, don't be afraid to take a break. I met people that actually have gone overboard with the above activity and they become mentally swamped. Their brain then does the biological equivalent of a computer crash and it takes them a while to get back up on their game.

The last take away from all of this is you are the boss. Take some of the ideas and remold them as necessary to fit your ecosystem, whatever that may be.

Enjoy Finding Questions to Answer!
Have a great day and take care. Patrick
 

The Black Box of Knowledge.

 

Wow, it is been quite the week for my little blog. Great to see all the traffic.

Here it is Thursday night and I'm quickly writing a little note because the way Friday is shaping up I may not have time to post a decent article or video....

Well, as it turns out time was available to do a video😀 and while I was doing it, it brought up a few more thoughts.

A few articles ago I mentioned that I was doing a piece on how the advent of AI is going to affect how society perceives and uses knowledge. This is the first attempt at such article. What I find fascinating is that we are quickly reaching a point where people will not be able to understand how artificial intelligence solved a certain problem. For the simple reason that the AI is capable of going through so much more information. Google's Gemini for example can churn through hundreds of thousands of document in an hour. We must also be aware that we are only at the very beginning of this evolution in technology. Regardless however I think it's here to stay in one form or another. Then there was the announcement of AI starting to be phased into digital assistances in late 2024 by YouTuber  "Automate Your Life "in this video blog.

So our relationship to knowledge is going to change and I think verily rapidly. Will knowledge become more of a, for lack of a better term, "black box", where we trusted by default simply because we cannot hold to comprehend all of the details.

Now project this down the road a bit into the future. How will this affect learning? Look at how dependent we are on our devices not only to store information but for basic mathematics or even arithmetic. When was the last time you sat down and divided more than a few numbers in your head or even on paper?

Remember when you could do basic math in your head or remember a phone number. How quickly those skills became obsolete and yet that little bit of mental exercise really did have an impact, which was far-reaching. The very basic exercise of doing math in your head I believe helps keep one grounded in reality and overall helps keeps a person more awake and less on autopilot.

Just how automatic do we want the world to become? This and other questions are important to answer. Too much automation is not good for society. It is through effort and collaboration that the human spirit grows.

Depending upon how my Friday goes I will add a video. Most certainly at some point over the weekend one will be added. For now however I just wanted to touch base and let everyone know I am still cooking up this idea in regards to artificial intelligence and the future of knowledge. 

Take care Patrick

Why does pessimism exist?

Graphic based on image by
Peggy und Marco Lachmann-Anke from Pixabay.
Used under the Pixabay License.

 I am, by my very nature an optimist. It intuitively for me doesn't make sense to me to waste one's time on negativity, and that's not to say that life is been a breeze, sweet and easy. Far from it, as a matter of fact, the way one faces challenges indicates whether a person is either a natural optimist or pessimist.

Being an optimist is fairly straightforward and it makes complete sense, because it focuses on the benefits of a "bright" point of view, for lack of a better word. It is self reinforcing. If you see the good in that challenge, you don't feel overwhelmed, indeed one gets a sense of accomplishment and joy. In short it is "Good in One End results in Good out the Other End."

So why does pessimism exist?

I have met people who, even when positive events occur they intuitively and automatically strive to think up some negative angle.   If let's say they win $1000 they would immediately think "That's good, but gee I wish I won the $10,000 prize." This behaviour goes on with the person in the myriad of more  subtle ways as well, and in some cases it seems they are in a constant negative loop. It truly is, I believe an addiction mentally - An addiction to pessimism - the default mode of operation for their mind. Still they must be getting something out of it. There must be some larger benefit greater then the grief caused by pessimism.  It has become clear in the last while to me that these people put themselves through hell. They are anything but content. They are not even neutral, but buried in the darkest of emotions. So what is their big payoff?

One possible answer occurred to me. Their pessimistic outlook relieves them of any responsibility. Their negative situation is always due to something else. It is an eternal playing of the "victim card" - something is always being done too them - And whatever it is, it is beyond their ability to control.  In the short run this appears to greatly simplify their life. By transferring all responsibility over to someone else, in the short term, they get to sit back and enjoy the beninifts. Taken to the extreme, the person may believe themselves to be utterly incapable of doing something, and therefore the rest of the world runs in to save the day. Whoever plays the superhero will goes away initially feeling empowered. While our pessimistic friend gets the benefits of some action taken on their behalf without any of the consequences. Or at least that's how it appears at first.

This stage would be equivalent to the "high" effect of a drug. But it only lasts for a short time, because more often than not, since they didn't take any responsibility for what ever occurred, they don't appreciate the value they received. It becomes inconsequential because they know they can call on the superhero at any time. In my view the pessimist then misses out on a great deal of life. To work toward an achievement and then eventually reach the goal is a tremendous feeling. Even if you don't achieve the end result at least you are aware of what you learned along the way and that may be knowledge that you could not have of gained any other way. The person who avoids such challenges limits their opportunities to grow, and become resilient.  Every incident crushes them, because the don't know from passed experience that it is possible to bounce back.

I am so glad that as I was growing up, I met the people I did, and had marvelous creative parents who existed just a little bit outside of the normal line. My father was one of the first anesthesiologists in British Columbia Canada with Polio in the late 1950s, while mother was registered nurse, and I have Cerebral Palsy.  Yup, we were and are, outside of the "norm" and thankfully so.

As in the movie Star Wars "The Force" has both a light and a dark side. Both sides, optimism or pessimism,  regardless require some form of payment, either in effort and challenge or the loss of control over one's life.  Ingrained pessimistic behaviours send a message to everyone that this individual is "incapable" to one degree or another. Once people have made that judgement about a person, they often have to fight very hard to prove themselves as capable. It takes the very things and actions they are so conditioned against: 1) Taking a risk, and 2) Being responsible for the outcome. This for them must be a frightening situation. Yet if their life is to improve by what ever measure they choose, they must undertake it. In small steps no doubt and they must get used to failing and approaching their challenge in different ways.

As one deals with the various challenges in life, a degree of appreciation for the all too rare skill of "patience" is acquired. Knowing that true gratification comes in bits and pieces, and appreciating them as they appear. From my own perspective I find the little achievements much more gratifying, simply because I know that I have the appreciation to be aware of them. It's not the big gift, that makes life worth living, it is a little diverse ones. That if you're observant appear every day. That, I think, is one of the founding pillars of my continued optimism.

The hard part is of course getting others who are addicted to their pessimism to see that little achievements are made up of their own perceptions and their reality is really what they make of it. The key point is that they can change it. I suspect the first step in combating pessimism is disengaging the negative autopilot. And it is obvious this particular pilot is not going to want to let go of the steering wheel. Because it is used to being automatic. Putting one's outlook on life back into manual is at first incredibly difficult and inefficient because one must face a myriad of resistive ingrained to be a views. In many ways, from my point of view this resistance is actually a good sign it means that the individual is altering the very thing that needs to be altered. It is the beginning of a journey, but if one can see the steps and the progress, then one is truly on the way to improving their outlook and well-being on the whole.

If you have overcome pessimism or are dealing with this challenge please leave a comment with your story.

Take care Patrick Clark

How aware are you of your thoughts?

If you think about it, when an idea occurs to you it's a moment of mental focus. You suddenly become aware that you have an "idea" and then proceed from there. Ever wondered what's going on in your head the rest of the time? Clearly, you are thinking and doing things, and hopefully not on too much mental autopilot (See related article: Presence of Mind ).

When I was in my 20s I went to a psychologist trying to deal with my spasms brought on by my Cerebral Palsy rather than using drugs. One of the things they had me do was in the morning carry with me a recorder and then during the next session with him we would review what was picked up. There was a little prep involves in that I was asked to not hold anything back just verbalize what ever occurred in my head. Boy was it an eye-opening experience. I could not imagine a 1/5 of the thoughts that went through my head. At the time it was very negative and very emotionally based.

Now, it is my belief that when you have Cerebral Palsy it is like being a biological biofeedback machine. There is a tendency for your body to react a little more obviously to every single stressor. It literally means that you get a clearer indication of what is affecting emotionally and environmentally. I suspect in an able-bodied individual these things might go unnoticed. But together the doctrine I turned a disability into a positive, combined with the awareness of what I had been saying to myself.

In a nutshell what came out of it was, it is not the grand big thoughts you have that effect your life to a great extent, it is the small ones, the ones in the background they fly underneath your radar which have a massive cumulative effect. If you're lucky and they're mostly positive and you are probably a great person to know right now. But in this crazy world you might have also taken on a lot of baggage or have avoided dealing with things and it is built up. So I suggest you grab your self a recorder and for the next few days pick a time every day when you record your conversations and thoughts.

The routine should go something like this:

1. Pick a time which you can consistently do this.
   
   
2. Make an agreement with yourself to verbalize everything that occurs to you. This may seem odd at first but after a day or two would become second nature and that's when things will get really interesting.
   
   
3. Let a few days pass before reviewing the recording. This is to give you some distance from whatever you were verbalizing so you can listen to it a little more objectively. If you have a trusted friend you can get them to sit in with this review. It can be very useful to have a second opinion.

You will be amazed at first what bubbles to the surface.( I sure was… To this day I still remember the first few recording review sessions with my psychologist, I was flabbergasted. ) Then of course the next step is to make a plan to move forward. It is likely he will find this recording ritual in itself not only revealing but it may help to lighten your load by getting these thoughts out in the open.

When I was doing this it was all on cassette tapes and I kept doing it for a long time, ending up with a closet shelf of stacked cassettes. I wish I had kept them because they would be very interesting to review right now. How often do any of us get to listen to ourselves 40 or more years ago in such fine detail. Heck I may start a audio archive and review it a few years from now. It would be an interesting the side project :-).

Have a great day everyone and thank you for visiting. I'll be putting up a video this weekend on some topic. As always if you have an idea just leave a comment.

Take care Patrick.

They literally keep themselves locked in

How is it possible some people can appear miserable, and yet when they are provided with avenues to improve their state whatever that may be they decline? As a matter of fact some of them worked very hard at maintaining their status quo. They literally keep themselves locked in.

Usually these are quite bright people and I think there is the problem. That same marvellous mind they have also can provide an infinite range of rebuttals and rationalizations. If they worked a fraction as hard as that and getting out of their current situation they would be way ahead of the rest of us. I'm thinking of young person who is in their 20s and although they have physical limitations due to a disability they have one great mind. But every time someone comes up with an idea they shoot it down and usually do so well. Managing in the process to disenfranchise the friend who suggested the idea in the first place. You would think evolution would have removed by now this odd programming bug in the human psyche. I find myself wondering what's going to happen to this person as they start to age. They are currently not well-equipped for that aspect of life.

Growing older means in some ways you are given the opportunity to get even "tougher" because the autopilot that we had earlier so counted on has just submitted their resignation notice. For me that was when I was 45. I remember the night clearly. I had just prepared for going to bed and since I changed my clothes sitting on the floor I would then raise myself up to my hands and knees and then kind of crawl onto the bed. This was so automatic I never even thought about it. Well, on this particular night I did. I became acutely aware of how much energy this ritual took and it was quite the eye opener. It was although mother nature and the cosmos were saying, "Your warranty. It is now officially finished and all automatic features have now been turned off. Get used to being in manual mode." Fortunately I already had an optimistic outlook and was rather used to adversity. As long as I survived whatever adversity came my way I actually enjoyed it for the most part :-).

The person I was speaking of earlier however is in no such frame of mind. So the question is, what if anything should be done with them? Or should I just let them hit the brick wall, and they are going too. Then after the dust settles maybe they'll be more receptive.

I really am not sure about this one. But I just thought I'd posted here. Somehow seeing words in print seems to make my thought process a little more tangible and of course if you have an idea. Please let me know.

Take care Patrick

What are the boundaries of awareness?

More specifically what are the boundaries of your awareness? You may think "That's rather obvious, it is whatever I am aware of."-Which is true. But if you ever considered adjusting those boundaries, playing with them?… Not put drugs, but by asking simple, straightforward questions. To see where your limits are and perhaps expand the horizons.

Take a moment right now to consider where your boundaries are as far as your sense of reality goes. If you are living in an apartment, can you hear the sounds in the hallway? What parts of our daily lives to be habitually blank out. They could be most interesting and informative if we didn't use the autopilot of routines which so many of us have during the weekdays or weekends.

Here's a challenge: Go through today and deliberately find the boundaries to your awareness and if possible push them a little. Just knowing that you have that extra flexibility might open up quite a bit of insight to deal with different things.

People that undertake meditation are familiar with this technique. However if you're just meditating casually it may not have occurred to you just how powerful adjusting your awareness can be. One of the things I've discovered personally is that I am fully in control of every second of the day and can interpret each moment individually. If I don't like something and I cannot change it physically I always can change my relationship psychologically.

The other night at dinner, one of the tenants in my building (I live in an assisted living environment and all the tenants eat together in the dining room) became very angry because someone was singing. This person just could not let go of their anger. I wondered "Why? Didn't they alter their interpretation of the environment. "It dawned on me that they were not "aware" of their own awareness, they were just reacting, presumably to what they considered to be a fixed perception. They could not be unaware of the singing. I found and still find the whole event mind-boggling to some extent. I began to wonder is there a way to teach them about awareness and sensitivity such that they see that both things are flexible and under their control. This may be a project in the making.

Part of the issue might be that society doesn't pay attention in the same way that it used to. With everything being so automatic and relatively quick to obtain. People are getting a little rusty when it comes to looking below the surface. Consider this little article then a polishing up for your awareness. A little bit of exercise, which I hope will brighten your day. Make your world a little bigger and increased your joy level considerably.

Take care Patrick

Combating Your Negative Bias

 This morning I read a quote from Dostoyevsky which fits in very nicely with this topic:

"To be a human being among people and to remain one forever, no matter in what circumstances, not to grow despondent and not to lose heart — that’s what life is all about, that’s its task."

Believe it or not everyone has a built in evolutionary based "Cognitive Negative Bias". That is, your mind, if left to its own behaviours always assumes the worst. This was right for the early human species as it saved them from becoming a predator's midday snack. However this negative bias over time became generalized and now in the modern world, it not only does it not serve us well, it actually gets in the way of physiological growth.

 It is not necessary to go into examples of negative bias, they are all too prevalent. Rather this article is meant to give you some of my own personal tools to encourage seeing a "Positive Bias" whenever possible. These are things I have learned throughout my life.

To sum them up, they are:

1.  Personal Awareness
2.  Recognizing Habitual Behaviour
3. Enjoying Effort (literally relishing in the fact that something might be hard to do.)

Every time engage in one of these behaviors, you always learn something.

 1. Most of us, including myself, spend a good chunk of our days somewhere between autopilot and grounded awareness. This is the modern survival skill, because frequently you are moving at a rapid pace juggling many things. The problem is that, it has become, for many people, a natural default state; they are slowly lose touch with themselves. In some situations even with their very character. Who they may become over time it's not quite the personality they assume. Everything can change and that includes the very essence of you.

Getting to know various aspects of yourself is critical, because it is the bedrock upon which everything else is built. No one can know everything about themselves because we are always changing, but we can definitely alter the larger and more profound aspects. So, the next time you turn on the TV, YouTube, or other entertainment media especially if it's something you do often, ask yourself to just pay attention to you to the situation you are in. What are you looking forward to? If it is a routine ask yourself what you get out of the routine? Start to take apart the situation in whatever way you want and notice the different aspects. There is so much to discover in personal awareness and it is in these moments that you can find a great many surprises. Encourage yourself to be curious. You are psychologically getting something out of every situation. Start to explore what that might be. Even negative things. What you might call a bad habit has a payoff for some part of your psychology.

2. This leads right into the next item on the list, recognizing habitual behaviours. Again you are getting something out of it. Often can be a way to avoid being aware of yourself. The problem is that habitual behaviours that don't do you any good and can waste a great deal of time getting you nowhere. So you don't benefit from the experience either positively or negatively. --- In sort they keep you stuck. So next time you're eating that big bag of potato chips and you're chewing through them at breakneck speed. Ask yourself what's going on. 

3. Just today I was working with someone who was terrified of effort. That is to say, the minute something got difficult for them, he immediately put up mental roadblocks, essentially guaranteeing that they would fail. I have seen this several times now in various people who will always say they want to learn and succeed. My belief is that it is the fear of change ultimately that is stopping them. Everything you've ever done in your life even the most automatic and unconscious things was at the very beginning, difficult. You had to learn how to gain a new skill. But somewhere along the way these people learned or told themselves that everything must conform to their way of existence or seeing the world if you prefer. If it didn't fit their model then it was by definitions "difficult" and doomed to failure. To guarantee this outcome they began to build up all sorts of behaviours to distract themselves while at the same time frustrating themselves. A guarantee the way not to benefit from learning.

Well, in order to learn you must be prepared to change and what you need to learn is that change is a good thing in this context and if something is difficult that is also a good thing. It means you're being stretched and exercised and ultimately growing. So learn to accept difficulty as a positive indicator. If the "wall" is too high, take your time and appreciate the small steps. If you are observant of your accomplishments and your setbacks you will reach the top. You will however not be quite the same person you are at the beginning of the undertaking. It is necessary to let go of the "you" you knew. It may be a very difficult thing at first and it may remain difficult. That is okay. Take the time to understand why. If it is not in your power to see why it is difficult then see if you can come to terms with the difficulty. It will be up to you whether to proceed and integrate it into the situation or to go down another route.

Don't Resist Change, Embrace It.

There seems to be a tendency for people now to insist on having the world presented to them in a way they are already comfortable with and that can lead to a lot of the above difficulty. You may have to change your behaviour. If you really want to achieve a specific goal. That means taking a look at your negative bias and indeed taking a look at the individual you have knowen for all these years who just happens to be your self.

A practical example of people resisting change while insisting they want the benefits of change without the work involved would be the following:

This happened several times every year. Either in my volunteer work or when assisting someone in my building with new equipment or purchases. They get the latest phone with all the bells and whistles. After they've had it for a few days they come to me and they ask can you make this do what I saw in the commercial? It doesn't matter what the undertaking is what the person is often really asking is "You do the work so I can have all the benefits without having to think about it.". And of course things never really work out for them because they do not understand the very future they are attracted to. Even if everything does work after it is been set up they are still somewhat frustrated because they intuitively know that they don't know what's going on. And in order to benefit from an experience you have to understand that experience. Just buying a good camera will not make you a good photographer. You must undertake learning how it works. There is no getting around this if you really want to grow.

So there we have it. The key points of my philosophy in regards to negative bias. My advice throw the negative out and do the work to get the positive in.

I have made a companion video for this article. It covers the same points and also addresses a few other aspects. If you are more comfortable learning it through multimedia then this is for you. It is about 10 minutes long.

Take care Patrick

The Art of Being Happy.

There are of course many articles written on the art of being happy. This text however will be different it is a much more personal journey as I attempt to look at what happiness is for me and perhaps for you. There will of course be a video at some point. (It'll probably be just below this paragraph as Google loves videos to peer near the beginning of a piece so that users don't have to scroll very far😁

Step 1: Get Real, Stop the Mental Autopilot

I did an article and video almost exactly a year ago dealing with just this.-The article is called "Presence of Mind". To summarize the article you have to pay attention to what you are doing mentally. When everything is done by routine we almost immediately stop listening to the internal dialogue but we don't stop listening to the overall message. If that messages negative or in other ways untrue we still accepted as fact on an emotional level and that of course impacts everything.

Step 2: Stop Saying "Yes." To Every Task; Pair down Your To Do List.

I have a tendency to say "Certainly, I can do that.", because I like to accomplish things and help people in the process, or at least that's what I like to tell myself. But I think the truth is closer to something like this is how we validate ourselves or temporarily make ourselves happy. Well, the second step is to stop doing just that. A single person can only do so much and even though you and I may love to be involved in everything. In order to accomplish anything the tasks must be manageable. They must allow you to have breathing room. So since the goal is to be happy, let's say for today you must have the room and time to do it. If you look at very creative people they guarded their time jealously. (See the article "Intuition and the Curious Mind" )

 Step 3: Happiness Is Not External, it's internal And You Have To Own It.

This one a big one, which must be clearly understood. Happiness does not come to you. It is something you'll create by being involved and taking responsibility for how you feel. Yep, you have to work at it and it is only temporary. Which means you have to keep working at it and be willing to put in the effort. The details of this sobering paragraph are that you have to figure out your own personal mechanism to find happiness. Start with identifying why you may be unhappy. Separate the things you cannot change from the things you can. It may be necessary to change your self. Many people think they can attain something without changing themselves. Humanity was literally built on the idea of constant change. If you are unhappy at this very moment and then you manage to make your self happy you will not be the same person.

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So happiness is really a voyage of discovery and effort. It has very little to do with external things. You definitely cannot buy happiness; you could only buy distraction at the end of the day you must deal with your self. Therefore embrace change and effort.

Step 4: The Discovery

So happiness is really a voyage of discovery and effort. It has very little to do with external things. You definitely cannot buy happiness; you could only buy distraction, and  at the end of the day you must deal with your self. Therefore embrace change and effort.

Very often as you get closer to feeling happier, and you find with some astonishment that there is resistance. Human beings don't fundamentally like to change regardless of how miserable or positive there are normal is. The key thing to remember is that you are not trying to win an achievement. There is no plateau. More accurately, what you are doing is making minor alterations to your outlook one step at a time. Be prepared to practice and be very honest with yourself during this ongoing journey. At some point you will be astonished how happy you are.

Step 4.5: Keep Track of Your Discoveries

Most often a "lack of happiness" can be defined as a lack of knowing one's self. The more you understand about the person you are, the more you can address and make changes. Following the above steps will literally make you a happier person. Because you understand more about your self and it is an ongoing journey. It is not a simple task to be happy it is much easier for some people to be miserable because all they have to do is ignore the things that would make them happy. Which is to change what they are doing in some way.

So start digging around and considering the particular situation you find yourself in. You may not feel the change a lot of things but at the very least you can change how you interpret and react to any given event.

Take care have a great day Patrick