Why Be Normal? Be Your Self First.

In the 21st century society in North America seems to be caught in the loop in which some trend or product emerges causing everyone to jump on the bandwagon. For some reason, most of us feel the need to acquire it or join the group. Yet, at the same time it appears we all want to be individuals. "Our own self." But for people who truly are unique individuals the same society gives them a great deal of grief. Pick any group or activity which is considered on the margin and you will find this to be true.

From my perspective that desire to jump on the bandwagon part of the group is an indication of a society which is insecure as a whole and can only lead to conflicts when people within the group do indeed try to be themselves and unique. As the world gets smaller and more interconnected I think the human race needs to face a fact:

The members of our society must moving forward learn to think and grow beyond just reacting to desire and fears. This is going to take a fundamental shift on all levels but I believe it can be done and needs to be done. An example of what just brought this train of thought to mind:

I was just speaking with a friend who has a relatively new wheelchair and a fairly expensive one. The process of getting medical equipment can be a rather complicated endeavour, but like everything else you need to do research and the person involved who was going to benefit from the equipment must be integral to the undertaking.

In this case that did not happen the chair is not balanced properly so that it tends to tip forward whenever they stop and I don't mean by a small amount. If they have any kind of momentum and then have to bring the chair did was stop quickly the back wheels slipped entirely off the ground. This is a huge oversight when the chair was selected and calibrated. This should never have happened. Yet it is an indication of people not thinking, although I find myself amazed that they could miss this. Now the chair must be taken apart and any additions that need to be put on me have to be modified or made to fit. This is a whole lot of work and it's not going to be cheap.

When I was involved with the design of my current chair it took a year from beginning to completion with many fittings and adjustments. I was totally involved in the process and as a result I received one of the best devices I have ever used. But it's obvious that this was not the case with my friend. They and the team that was assembled to purchase the chair obviously were not used to thinking in detail. This is an example of the bandwagon approach to life. I'm willing to bet the price of the chair was the guiding factor when it should have been the person who's going to be using it.

From a wider perspective when a whole society starts to approach life this way no wonder there are some money unresolved issues. I think the education system needs to place a much greater emphasis on creative thinking and awareness and go beyond fields of super specialization. So back to the question of why be normal. Because normal does not encourage thinking and involvement. To be your self however means to be involved and when you are involved although it is frequently much more difficult what you end up with is infinitely better. As the saying goes: "To look at the big picture." What do you think?

Feel free to leave your comments

Take care Patrick

What are the boundaries of awareness?

More specifically what are the boundaries of your awareness? You may think "That's rather obvious, it is whatever I am aware of."-Which is true. But if you ever considered adjusting those boundaries, playing with them?… Not put drugs, but by asking simple, straightforward questions. To see where your limits are and perhaps expand the horizons.

Take a moment right now to consider where your boundaries are as far as your sense of reality goes. If you are living in an apartment, can you hear the sounds in the hallway? What parts of our daily lives to be habitually blank out. They could be most interesting and informative if we didn't use the autopilot of routines which so many of us have during the weekdays or weekends.

Here's a challenge: Go through today and deliberately find the boundaries to your awareness and if possible push them a little. Just knowing that you have that extra flexibility might open up quite a bit of insight to deal with different things.

People that undertake meditation are familiar with this technique. However if you're just meditating casually it may not have occurred to you just how powerful adjusting your awareness can be. One of the things I've discovered personally is that I am fully in control of every second of the day and can interpret each moment individually. If I don't like something and I cannot change it physically I always can change my relationship psychologically.

The other night at dinner, one of the tenants in my building (I live in an assisted living environment and all the tenants eat together in the dining room) became very angry because someone was singing. This person just could not let go of their anger. I wondered "Why? Didn't they alter their interpretation of the environment. "It dawned on me that they were not "aware" of their own awareness, they were just reacting, presumably to what they considered to be a fixed perception. They could not be unaware of the singing. I found and still find the whole event mind-boggling to some extent. I began to wonder is there a way to teach them about awareness and sensitivity such that they see that both things are flexible and under their control. This may be a project in the making.

Part of the issue might be that society doesn't pay attention in the same way that it used to. With everything being so automatic and relatively quick to obtain. People are getting a little rusty when it comes to looking below the surface. Consider this little article then a polishing up for your awareness. A little bit of exercise, which I hope will brighten your day. Make your world a little bigger and increased your joy level considerably.

Take care Patrick

Where does motivation come from?

 

What are the origins of motivation or the lack thereof?

These are tricky questions to answer, because of course there are so many components, but there are a few central elements.

In its most basic form, motivation is a reaction to our environment. To change from one state to another. If you're hungry you are motivated to change your situation. This type of basic action has with it however some limitations and problems.

1. It tends to be only reactionary. Focusing on the immediate situation and not necessarily good in the long run.
   
   
2. If we don't pay attention to these reactionary impulses they can become habits which may not have our best interest at heart.
   
   
3. By definition therefore, they involve little thinking or awareness. They may get you out of the way of the oncoming truck, but they don't help you deal with why you decided to walk out into the middle-of-the-road in the first place.

What you want is motivation combined with thought. The best way to start exploring that part of the topic is: The next time you are motivated to do anything especially if it's on the spur of the moment, consider what is happening in your environment. By doing that you can understand the drivers of your actions and that will help you avoid impulsive actions and at the same time answer the age-old question of "How do I stay motivated?".

The other aspect to consider about getting the best out of motivation is "Are you trying to get motivated about a activity that you are not interested in?" 

 Many people fall into that little trap especially when their undertaking a physical or mental tasks which they promised to do. It is quite it difficult thing to get excited about something you're not excited about in the first place. So stop hitting yourself over the head. Focus instead, if you are caught in a situation like this, on what it'll feel like to get that finally done. That frequently frees up a lot of mental resources because you are now addressing the situation honestly. Again this will also help you to increase your awareness of what does motivate you.

When I was in my 20s for some unfathomable reason there was a big push in the disability community for everyone to learn computerized accounting. It became almost like a mantra. I remember sitting face-to-face with an Apple II and the green phosphor screen looking at "Lotus 1-2-3" and thinking "yuck!". Fortunately in those relatively early days of computing you had to know a fair bit just to get the thing to run. So I found myself doing the work I had to do but also wondering how the heck does the spreadsheet work?  All of a sudden the spreadsheet became interesting and I was motivated to use it. Not because it was the spreadsheet but because I had inadvertently began my journey down programming. It's kind of mind blowing to think that because of something so dull a major component of my future career took off.

So it really does pay to pay attention to the details of your motivation or lack thereof. Once you do that you will answer the ultimate question of "How do I stay motivated?" better than you could ever imagine. The experience you gain by paying attention to the details of motivation instead of being just reactionary are immense. Often they will give you different avenues to go down. From there who knows what adventures await.

So stay motivated by understanding your motivations and when necessary if they are telling you to do something else pay attention to that. I have found that there is a lot more detail to life and the personality of each of us then we give ourselves credit for. :-)

Take care Patrick

Mind-body relationship: "Who's Driving the Car?"

 

I'm not sure right away where this train of thought is going to go, but it has to do with aging and the changing relationship with the body. It's not body image in this case it's a lot more intimate than that. (Since this is a meandering thought as a try to nail it down in my own head please feel free to correct anything about this article.) Maybe the best way to start is to ask a question of anyone reading this especially if you been around for a few years on good old planet Earth.

Do you find certain parts of your body, perhaps your arms or legs disassociating from your mind a little bit? What used to be completely automatic and you never even thought about the fact that you just raised your arm to reach a can of peaches, is now something that not only you are much more conscious of because let's say got a little bit of arthritis but the connection between your mind and your arm does not feel as secure  or fluid. Especially if whatever you're doing involves a little bit of straining, a little bit of pushing a boundary physically.

Does any of the above sound familiar? It is something of dealing with on a daily basis nowadays and it really has me pondering how to move through the rest of my life. I have lots of physical support in the facility I live in, but I find myself second-guessing whether or not I should undertake certain physical challenges. For example:

For months now I've been considering getting a 3D printer and the logistics of where to put it aside, I find myself asking "Can I safely remove the 3D object off the plate once it is finished?... Can I physically threatened the filament through the printing nozzle?" If you're not familiar with 3D printers they can get rather hot and at this stage there's a lot of physical fiddling that needs to be done.

I guess what it boils down to is: That certainty that I used to have about what I could and could not do is not currently there. It's all rather tentative.

What started me on this train of thought was I'm fixing a computer for friend and getting a simple memory stick back into the machine was more than a challenge. I was actually fighting little spasms and there was that disconnect. That feeling of "Who's driving this car?" At one point I almost hit the computer over because his spasms sort of jumped out of nowhere. But that statement isn't exactly accurate..... To give you a bit of background: I have Cerebral Palsy which is a condition in which one's muscles are somewhat tense all the time and motor control can be a little tentative, shall we say. So small spasms are not uncommon but I have found, if I really examine what was going on just before the spasm more often than not there is a psychological component. Perhaps a surprise, or a little bit of fear. Whatever the particular cause having Cerebral Palsy is a little like being a live biofeedback machine. What others may miss from the subconscious people like me get a physical response sometimes. Of course this can become a psychological loop which can feed in on itself. So this can be a bit of a predicament. Although the condition has probably gifted me with great insight and better internal world. I guess that also has to do with one's early upbringing.

So this whole aging and relationship with oneself topic really is weighing on my mind today. By the way I have just discovered that the memory stick in the computer I was repairing for my friend is bad so I have to take the darn thing out again. And then order a new part. So mother nature sounds like she's going to have me revisit this topic again down the road either with this computer or with some other physical situation.

The adventure continues! Stay tuned and take care,
Patrick

Nurturing the Creative Soul

  Truly creative people are indeed a gift to the human race. 

Think of all the beautiful things and unbelievable ideas that have come down through the centuries.

These, artisans and creative thinkers should never be taken for granted however. The people that I've met that fall into this category share a few things in common, which must be acknowledged and paid attention to by the world.

1. Because they go outside of the normal everyday thinking, they are often considered "quirky or eccentric". That's because from a normal perspective they are, and more importantly I think they need to be. It is the very characteristic that helps them to be so creative in the first place. Don't ask them to conform to normal. Rather enjoyed their difference and learn from them.
   
   
2. Their life is likely to be more complicated, as they try to figure out who they are. They may come at things from a very different perspective. This "figuring out" stage may last a long time or perhaps an entire life. Again they are exploring. Give them the room to do that.There may not be as socially acceptable role model for them. They may have to blaze a new trail and create a model for themselves.
   
   

   

   Image generated by Ideogram AI.
   I had to post this 😀. It resulted from simply
   inputting he first paragraph of this article.
   Quite amazing! **  (See end of article note.)

   
   
3. They may not be politically correct (and honestly this is a trait I admire). They may say things directly or point out things that are are uncomfortable. Why?… Because they see things in a different and often broader perspective. They themselves are feeling the pressure of society asking them to be normal. They are willing to rock the boat, both politically and socially.
   
   
4. They may seem abrupt, or outwardly not care about things that the rest of us do. To some extent depending on what you're talking about this may be true but it is also likely that it is just not part of their focus. One of the things that makes a creative soul so great is they are incredibly passionate about what they do and that can mean that anything outside of that realm falls off in relevance quite quickly. For example a friend of mine who is an absolute networking and computer technology genius, but has a very limited range of interests outside of their field. Not because of underexposure but rather because they sincerely don't see the relevance to them. They will deal with other things outside of their realm when they need to but such appearances will be brief and they will hand off whatever the issue is once it is fixed to someone more acquainted with whatever the topic is.
   
   
5. Especially now days, when there is so much going on and so much feedback from everything. Creative souls may need to pull back and spend time alone or doing exclusively what they like to do. Consider this a mandatory recharge cycle, except that it may not happen on a regular basis. When you see this happen to your dear smart friend take it is a signal to pull back a bit and give them some room. Let them know that it's okay for them to do whatever they need to do.
   
   
6. There is a tendency for creative souls to get overextended. That is because they see so much, understand so much, and up helping out everywhere. Or at least can feel like that to them. They can be a prime candidate for burnout, because they really to care about what matters to them. They feel a responsibility to see things through. So they have a habit of not stopping and resting when they should. (I speak from experience.)
    
7. They may change. The very thing that makes them unique may also mean that at some point in their lives they may turn a corner and entirely embraced something new. "Standardization" is not in the vocabulary. Remember, you may love them because they are "out there", but be prepared for that definition to change. If they are a musician for example they may abruptly all of a sudden one day decides to take up pottery and put down music forever as an activity. They frequently are explorers and this is just part of their life.

Now to be clear. -- I am not saying that creative souls should be able to act or do anything absolutely they want. If you see someone who's obviously in trouble or avoiding issues they need to deal with then obviously have a talk with them. But also understand their issues may be complicated and take some time to work out.

Finally, while there are no absolutes or hard guidelines here. The rest of us need to embrace the differences the creative souls portray, because discovery is often the result of being unique. The world will always need this and so will you manage. If you have a quirky creative friend in your life count yourself lucky. Appreciate them now, and don't take them for granted.

Take care Patrick 

** NOTE: The picture "Image generated by Ideogram AI" displayed midway through this article is from the service Ideogram AI.  As a layperson, I have read their relevant "terms of service" and determined, to the best of my ability, that the image may be viewed by the public.  However before any reuse, please review fully their terms and if necessary contact the company for more information.

The use of said image does not imply any affiliation or endorsement.

Today's Challenge, getting the most out of negative things...

 

Today's challenge: Getting the most out of the things you hate to do, but have too do. 

The short answer is: Start Small. by that I mean find something that you only have a minor dislike to doing and then line that up with things you like to do in a list. Don't make the list too long, make sure it's manageable. Then begin going down the list accomplishing whatever the tasks are, but start with the task you dislike to do, and as you move on to the next task see it as a bit of a reward.

I eat my dinner's this way, if there is something on my plate that I'm not thrilled about that is the very thing I start with. This little routine has an automatic built in reward system because you have inherently something to look forward to. Do this enough times and it will become a routine. You may even find yourself looking for the classic "negative task" to put at the beginning of lists just so you can get it done and get your own little award. It sounds simplistic and kind of crazy but this kind of subtle behaviour change really does have a payoff. In short you get the crap out of the way 👍. And of course over time you can build upon the idea to get harder and harder feats accomplished. That's one thing I like about the human brain, there's part of it that is a reward junkie and it doesn't care how it gets it. It doesn't rationalize it just reacts and you can use that little human quirk to your advantage.

If there is a task that is just too negative or too overwhelming take a small, part of it something that you can manage and put it in the list. Regardless of what it is or how small it is when you successfully complete the portion of the task that you'd set out to,do, give yourself a pat on the back.

The other thing I am learning at 63 years old is don't burn yourself out. When you find your physical or mental limit, acknowledge it and take a break and by break.  I don't mean five minutes I mean something substantial. For example I normally work until 4:30 or 5 PM. Well, by 3 o'clock today I was getting pretty low on the battery level and by 4 o'clock I was done. A few years ago I would've pushed on through, but today I thought "No". I touch base with my boss and they said "No problem, we will see you in the morning." Just hearing that was an instantaneous relief. Then I realize that part of my exhaustion was me not giving myself permission. When my boss uttered those words I physiologically got the hint and relaxed. The next time I feel tired, I will speak up. There is no point in going beyond the limit when there is nothing to be gained by it. My work can be fairly technical and it really only does work out when my brain is fully alive.

So realize where you're pushing yourself too hard and give yourself that break. This is the only life you have as far as we know. Regardless of your beliefs the only thing you know for sure is, we only have the "now" to work with. Maybe there is an afterlife but that's down the road.

This by the way has nothing to do with pushing your own boundaries, enlarging your world, that is something you should always endeavour to do. Challenge and a little bit of difficulty in life is critical    when carried on in a balanced way. The key word here is balanced.

I will write more tomorrow at some point, and I plan to write much longer in-depth articles on the weekends as time permits. (See I'm listening to my own article by not overextending my brain.)

Stay tuned for more tomorrow. At this point I have no idea what I'm going to write. So both you and I will find out essentially at the same time.

Take care Patrick

There simply must be a better way to set up smart devices.

Photo by Jernej Furman on Flickr
Creative Commons CC BY 2.0  license

Like everybody else who even touches technology I have many accounts with a fair number of companies just so that all my smart devices work. I get worried though, most of the time, when I investigate the following two things:

1. Terms of service and privacy. Why the heck would a smart power plug need access to so much in my device? Some of this is really concerning because it becomes apparent that there doing something with all that data and for me this is a dealbreaker. When a product requires so much material that is unrelated to its operation a red flag really goes up
   
   
2.  Incredibly poorly written apps and overall design. I was just helping a friend and the majority of the apps interface is bright white with small bright green lettering. It doesn't even look aesthetically good, mainly because you can barely see anything.

Taken together if the company hits on the above two points, I run away had full speed because in my book it also means that the likelihood of them being around in five years is dubious. Making the very nice power bar into a "dumb" power bar with the added complication of the fact that it still transmits its Wi-Fi signal.

Pardon me but I just had the vent.

 All my friend wants to do is have a timer to turn off and on the charging on their backup electric chair. With critical equipment you don't want to leave it on charge all the time because some batteries will deteriorate even if it's a small amount of continuous charge and by the same token you don't want to leave them unplugged for too long either. Ideally you want your chair to be ready to go when you need it. 

But set ups like this are just ridiculous. And as I said I am not impressed with the app itself. It just looks janky. It will work but I expect better from companies.

Take care Patrick

Why do people tend to desire the "old days"?

I have the oddest urge to find an old school electric typewriter and just write. (I'm not masochistic enough to desire a true manual typewriter😀)

This urge just popped out of nowhere, I'm actually getting ready for work/volunteering. We will see where this blog entry of mine goes… In the next day. You will be seeing the complete entry as I'm currently writing this as a draft. But this is how I often come up with ideas. I write down a quick note. Using whatever means it's necessary.

… It's the next day and this is the first time I've had a moment to return to this article…

One of the reasons I think the reasons we look back to the old days is that it is something understandable, we knew how it fits into the fabric of our lives back then and we knew what it meant. This is an understandable reaction to the modern day when everything is kind of scattered about. I don't know about you, but I deal with a lot of interruptions and minor detours throughout my day. Sometimes I feel like the information centre for my building especially when it comes to fixing things. But even the average person has kind of the scattered lifestyle it seems unless there one of the very lucky this profession or discipline allows them to cloister themselves away… The luxury of that thought has me momentarily jealous.

Anyway in modern society we have become accustomed to taking on too much and as a result too much is expected of us overall. How many of you have at the experience of someone being furious that you didn't answer their email right away. So the simplest solution is to either pare down the number of for lack of a better word "connections" you are currently hooked up to or if that is not an option segmenting them into certain days whenever possible. A friend of mine has a very good rule: "They do not do any work on Saturday at all. They won't even talk about it." This simple and direct change makes them ingenious in my book. Because it sets not only a boundary but it sets up an anticipation that on Saturday this person is just not available and that in turn sets an example.

So what do you think is that something you could apply in your life? Even to a small degree? You might start something if you do, and that something might turn out to be awfully good for everyone. Again it's making things simpler, just like we thought the old days were. Which I kind of doubt if we were actually back there in time.

Take care Patrick

To Perceive, Unseen Personal Challenges

 

I am not so sure the old saying "Walk a Mile in Someone Else's Shoes", meaning to (if taken literally) for a short time live with someone else's life to gain their perspective is such a good idea. For the reason that I think the human race overall has underestimated just how uniquely personal and different each person's life is. Personally I don't think reality itself is uniform across people. There are just too many ways for the brain to wire and I think that's where the above statement falls very short.

What would you do if you could for a while take up residence in someone else's mind. Would their reality be shocking to you? Would you no longer be your self, but rather a product of the new mind...

This idea, underpins the philosophy that we should not assume anything when we meet someone new, but rather be as open as possible. In doing so we may find boundaries and limits within ourselves which we had previously not knowing needed addressing.… It is yet another opportunity to learn.

This whole train of thought came about when I was talking to a friend downstairs who deals with the great amount of physical pain every day. It is part of their condition and even though they are on very strong medication it is evident this is something they face alone and something that is very unique to them and their experience. But we can in contemplating their situation find boundaries within ourselves and to grow beyond them when necessary.

I suspect billions of people have those "Unseen personal challenges". It is time for humanity to start recognizing that as well as the individual. Be thankful for what you have right now.

Learning never stops and it frequently appears as an opportunity when you least expect it.

Take care Patrick

Keys to a better life: inner awareness.

Inner awareness, of one's self is so important; it cannot be overstated. First comes self-awareness, then if one pays attention, they will focus on not only the outside world but also what is going on within their own psychology or psyche. They will ask questions like "Why do I feel anxious?" And ponder what is going on to produce the feeling. They are listening to the inner dialogue of their own mind and body. This is inner awareness.

It takes time however to develop this aspect of one's life. To come to terms with the person and motivations you really are and have may not be the ones you initially assumed. Yet this is very true and becomes most obvious when a person is conflicted about something in their life.

It usually occurs because they are at odds with who they think they are as opposed to their real motivations and needs. They may see themselves in this modern world as a true professional able to tackle a multitude of things at once and just keep on going. At the same time however the body is screaming "Stop! I need some rest." If this goes on unattended then it is my personal belief that a train wreck of some kind is in the making.

I have stated many times in this blog that I live in assisted living, which means a facility where attendants are available to take care of healthcare needs around-the-clock. I had a lifelong disability and formulae due to aged 63 years old things were just becoming too difficult to do so it made sense for me to move in to a building like this. For others however who were completely able-bodied they have various ailments and physical conditions which demand they get help regularly. For some it is quite severe. Most of them share one thing in common a lack of inner awareness. Their ego drives most of their personality and up until now they have plowed through life I think for the most part with blinders on. Missing the all important messages that their bodies have been saying for a long time. I can't help wondering if they had listened to that message when it first appeared if they would be in much better physical condition. I don't know if there's any evidence for this in the literature but it sure seems intuitively true.

It's Sunday today and so I'm going to listen to that little voice, and take the rest of the day off. Take a break for yourself, the world will live on, and you just might avoid any oncoming train wrecks and at the very least will be able to relax. The world does not want you to fall apart. Listening to those gentle voices.

Take care
Patrick