This blog is just a grab bag of thoughts and useful links. However, as the name suggests it may be interpreted by some as a wee bit challenging, if not, activist. Hence the use of the term "Left" in the title.
The views expressed are strictly my own. The mention of any software or service is not to be taken as an endorsement or criticism.
"It Is Never Good To Go Through Life On Autopilot."
Can a mood become an ingrained habit? That is to say, can a particular mood or state of mind become a default reaction to a given situation. More importantly, can one afford such a knee-jerk an automatic reaction in a healthy life.
To my mind it is kind of like handing over the driver's keys will mild form of enslavement particularly if the mood is a negative one. This is going to be a very short article or note I just thought just occurred to me. People frequently say "They woke up in a bad mood." I think if that happens regularly and without reflection on what's going on to perpetuate this state is a dangerous situation. Because the person is handing over responsibility for how well they will function in life to a belief. It can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. They wake up in a bad mood and convince themselves there is nothing they can do about it and then the sages been set for the cycle to continue. Essentially because they literally expect to wake up in this negative mood.
I would like to put forward that this is a situation which the person cannot afford. One must not give in to habit or routine. It is much better to constantly be critical of a feeling and if they find that the state they are in is part of a pattern take the responsibility and action to change it. In this way one gets to know their inner workings and ultimately who they are. As I've said many times on this blog it is never good to go through life on autopilot or to follow a routine without considering the benefits and consequences of that routine.
Often people will tell me they don't have the time to reflect on their life or situation and use this as a rationale for not taking action. But you see, no one else can change your life other than you. This journey of understanding one's moods and motivations is an ongoing event throughout life. As you think and feel events, take each one as an opportunity to make a decision. In that way you are not governed by a mood but instead learn something about yourself and indeed those around you.
So if you woke up this morning in a bad mood, take the opportunity to see what can be changed about how you are feeling. My suggestion is as you analyse, right your thoughts and feelings down. This makes it a much more personal experience and you will be surprised about the avenues to a solution you find.
Many years ago I read a book called "Using Your Brain for a Change" (I've mentioned that book previously on this blog because it is so good. See the article: "Do we all live in our own abridged reality?") One of the things it pointed out was you don't normally react to a situation it self, what you react to initially is your perception of the situation. That is, if you think a particular food is going to taste bad then it very likely will.
Using Your Brain--For a Change: Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) By Richard Bandler
Publisher: Real People Press Year : 1985 ISBN numbers: 9780911226263, 9780911226270, 0911226265, 0911226273
People tend to bring their reality into alignment with their belief system. And one's belief system can be very, very powerful. But many of us don't realize it, because our belief system is not often scrutinized. For the most part it's on autopilot and doing what ever it likes. It's also very fast, especially when taking the form of an emotion. In such a case, your conscious mind has been conditioned to just follow along. Whether you like it or not.
So the first thing to do is pay attention to how aware you are of your surroundings. This is the beginning step of taking your self off autopilot. Just stop right now for example, and take stock of what there is to notice. Do this a few times throughout the day. Then consider if you have any opinions about what you've noticed:
Is there anything you would like to change?
Are there any unexpected reactions to your environment when you actually pay conscious attention to it?
Just this simple act of taking yourself off autopilot can yield so much information. I recommend you don't go overboard but just pick one or two things to modify or perhaps make notes on.
Now, for Those Hidden Habits:
Have you ever found yourself in a position where you have a straightforward task to perform and yet even before starting you fear that you will fail to complete it?
Taking an initial great idea and becoming overly worried about it because of perceived fear some aspect is going to have a greater impact in reality than it usually does. This habit has an effect that I bet you never thought about.
It keeps you from taking a risk, and risk is built into all new endeavours. Even though you may become this frustrated as hell. It is possible that subconsciously part of you is relieved. The trouble is unless you address what you are feeling and begin to deconstruct it, this automatic "kill switch" will just keep firing whenever a new endeavour or idea wonders by.
I talked with many people were very frustrated because in their own words "I can never get anything off the ground. The more I try the more frustrated I become a mineralogist give up." After a little more investigation most of the time it is revealed that they start with the initial idea and then they keep building requirements on to it. Before they know it may become overwhelmed.
The thing to do in this situation is take the first simple and thereby doable version of the idea and implement that. Instead of trying to get the concept perfect. This is one of the best ways to start things. Frequently, my article start with the simplest of ideas and rather than waiting until I got some sort of Mangum openness, I type the first sentence into the online editor of my blog. That gets me going, and because it actually creates a draft entry of the article on the site it makes it just a little bit more real. Now, not all ideas come to fruition. Sometimes I find other sites covering the same topic and doing much better job. In which case I may simply reference them in an later article. Sometimes what seemed as a great idea doesn't hold water the next day. It's is all part of my creative process. The big point here is that you start with whatever you've got.
This also conditions you to not overthinking everything and actually getting something off the ground. Over 12 years ago when I started this blog it sat dormant for many years and then one day boat four years ago I just decided to start adding content and now we are at 165 articles. They are not all by any means literary masterpieces, but slowly and surely I am getting better at this and the monthly views are following suit. At this point in time I can't even remember why I started the site and that doesn't matter. What matters is I enjoy what I'm doing and I know in a small way I am adding content and value to the good old Internet😀
So don't think too much about a new idea but take steps toward a small goal as fast as you can. That helps keep it real and gets you going on whatever the adventure is.
The other thing I hear a great deal when talking with people is ingrained automatic habits that they are barely aware of . These habits can have great effects both positive and negative. Here's an example:
A coffee lover who has an important event in next day. Normally they enjoy their Java throughout the day. But in this case the night before and have to be alert at their event they drink double the amount of coffee. Because that is what to do when they're nervous. Of course but they don't always realize is that they are guaranteeing themselves to have a bad night's rest. Breaking this little habit for them is very challenging. They have relied on this mechanism for a long time. Even though it is totally counterproductive and works against them ultimately.
This same scenario can take different forms but you get the idea. Small little habits that don't seem to be harmful at all and yet if you're not totally aware of what you're doing these little routines can spell a guaranteed scuttling of your ship. So start tracking what you're doing will you go throughout your day especially when you're in stressful moments. I have a feeling you are going to find a few of these little habits kicking around and actually ingrained behaviour can become someone conscious that the only way you know it's there is because of your emotional reaction.
Take care,and as usual feel free to leave comments.
This morning I read a quote from Dostoyevsky which fits in very nicely with this topic:
"To be a human being among people and to remain one forever, no matter in what circumstances, not to grow despondent and not to lose heart — that’s what life is all about, that’s its task."
Believe it or not everyone has a built in evolutionary based "Cognitive Negative Bias". That is, your mind, if left to its own behaviours always assumes the worst. This was right for the early human species as it saved them from becoming a predator's midday snack. However this negative bias over time became generalized and now in the modern world, it not only does it not serve us well, it actually gets in the way of physiological growth.
It is not necessary to go into examples of negative bias, they are all too prevalent. Rather this article is meant to give you some of my own personal tools to encourage seeing a "Positive Bias" whenever possible. These are things I have learned throughout my life.
To sum them up, they are:
Personal Awareness
Recognizing Habitual Behaviour
Enjoying Effort (literally relishing in the fact that something might be hard to do.)
Every time engage in one of these behaviors, you always learn something.
1. Most of us, including myself, spend a good chunk of our days somewhere between autopilot and grounded awareness. This is the modern survival skill, because frequently you are moving at a rapid pace juggling many things. The problem is that, it has become, for many people, a natural default state; they are slowly lose touch with themselves. In some situations even with their very character. Who they may become over time it's not quite the personality they assume. Everything can change and that includes the very essence of you.
Getting to know various aspects of yourself is critical, because it is the bedrock upon which everything else is built. No one can know everything about themselves because we are always changing, but we can definitely alter the larger and more profound aspects. So, the next time you turn on the TV, YouTube, or other entertainment media especially if it's something you do often, ask yourself to just pay attention to you to the situation you are in. What are you looking forward to? If it is a routine ask yourself what you get out of the routine? Start to take apart the situation in whatever way you want and notice the different aspects. There is so much to discover in personal awareness and it is in these moments that you can find a great many surprises. Encourage yourself to be curious. You are psychologically getting something out of every situation. Start to explore what that might be. Even negative things. What you might call a bad habit has a payoff for some part of your psychology.
2. This leads right into the next item on the list, recognizing habitual behaviours. Again you are getting something out of it. Often can be a way to avoid being aware of yourself. The problem is that habitual behaviours that don't do you any good and can waste a great deal of time getting you nowhere. So you don't benefit from the experience either positively or negatively. --- In sort they keep you stuck. So next time you're eating that big bag of potato chips and you're chewing through them at breakneck speed. Ask yourself what's going on.
3. Just today I was working with someone who was terrified of effort. That is to say, the minute something got difficult for them, he immediately put up mental roadblocks, essentially guaranteeing that they would fail. I have seen this several times now in various people who will always say they want to learn and succeed. My belief is that it is the fear of change ultimately that is stopping them. Everything you've ever done in your life even the most automatic and unconscious things was at the very beginning, difficult. You had to learn how to gain a new skill. But somewhere along the way these people learned or told themselves that everything must conform to their way of existence or seeing the world if you prefer. If it didn't fit their model then it was by definitions "difficult" and doomed to failure. To guarantee this outcome they began to build up all sorts of behaviours to distract themselves while at the same time frustrating themselves. A guarantee the way not to benefit from learning.
Well, in order to learn you must be prepared to change and what you need to learn is that change is a good thing in this context and if something is difficult that is also a good thing. It means you're being stretched and exercised and ultimately growing. So learn to accept difficulty as a positive indicator. If the "wall" is too high, take your time and appreciate the small steps. If you are observant of your accomplishments and your setbacks you will reach the top. You will however not be quite the same person you are at the beginning of the undertaking. It is necessary to let go of the "you" you knew. It may be a very difficult thing at first and it may remain difficult. That is okay. Take the time to understand why. If it is not in your power to see why it is difficult then see if you can come to terms with the difficulty. It will be up to you whether to proceed and integrate it into the situation or to go down another route.
Don't Resist Change, Embrace It.
There seems to be a tendency for people now to insist on having the world presented to them in a way they are already comfortable with and that can lead to a lot of the above difficulty. You may have to change your behaviour. If you really want to achieve a specific goal. That means taking a look at your negative bias and indeed taking a look at the individual you have knowen for all these years who just happens to be your self.
A practical example of people resisting change while insisting they want the benefits of change without the work involved would be the following:
This happened several times every year. Either in my volunteer work or when assisting someone in my building with new equipment or purchases. They get the latest phone with all the bells and whistles. After they've had it for a few days they come to me and they ask can you make this do what I saw in the commercial? It doesn't matter what the undertaking is what the person is often really asking is "You do the work so I can have all the benefits without having to think about it.". And of course things never really work out for them because they do not understand the very future they are attracted to. Even if everything does work after it is been set up they are still somewhat frustrated because they intuitively know that they don't know what's going on. And in order to benefit from an experience you have to understand that experience. Just buying a good camera will not make you a good photographer. You must undertake learning how it works. There is no getting around this if you really want to grow.
So there we have it. The key points of my philosophy in regards to negative bias. My advice throw the negative out and do the work to get the positive in.
I have made a companion video for this article. It covers the same points and also addresses a few other aspects. If you are more comfortable learning it through multimedia then this is for you. It is about 10 minutes long.
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