Overthinking and Hidden Habits

 

Many years ago I read a book called "Using Your Brain for a Change" (I've mentioned that book previously on this blog because it is so good. See the article: "Do we all live in our own abridged reality?") One of the things it pointed out was you don't normally react to a situation it self, what you react to initially is your perception of the situation. That is, if you think a particular food is going to taste bad then it very likely will.

Using Your Brain--For a Change:
Neuro-Linguistic Programming
By Richard Bandler

Publisher: Real People Press
Year : 1985
ISBN numbers: 9780911226263, 9780911226270, 0911226265, 0911226273

• Listing on WorldCat Library index
•  Listing on Google Books

People tend to bring their reality into alignment with their belief system. And one's belief system can be very, very powerful. But many of us don't realize it, because our belief system is not often scrutinized. For the most part it's on autopilot and doing what ever it likes. It's also very fast, especially when taking the form of an emotion. In such a case, your conscious mind has been conditioned to just follow along. Whether you like it or not.

So the first thing to do is pay attention to how aware you are of your surroundings. This is the beginning step of taking your self off autopilot. Just stop right now for example, and take stock of what there is to notice. Do this a few times throughout the day. Then consider if you have any opinions about what you've noticed:

•  Is there anything you would like to change?
• Are there any unexpected reactions to your environment when you actually pay conscious attention to it?

Just this simple act of taking yourself off autopilot can yield so much information. I recommend you don't go overboard but just pick one or two things to modify or perhaps make notes on.  

Now, for Those Hidden Habits:

Have you ever found yourself in a position where you have a straightforward task to perform and yet even before starting you fear that you will fail to complete it?

Taking an initial great idea and becoming overly worried about it because of perceived fear some aspect is going to have a greater impact in reality than it usually does. This habit has an effect that I bet you never thought about.

It keeps you from taking a risk, and risk is built into all new endeavours. Even though you may become this frustrated as hell. It is possible that subconsciously part of you is relieved. The trouble is unless you address what you are feeling and begin to deconstruct it, this automatic "kill switch" will just keep firing whenever a new endeavour or idea wonders by.

I talked with many people were very frustrated because in their own words "I can never get anything off the ground. The more I try the more frustrated I become a mineralogist give up." After a little more investigation most of the time it is revealed that they start with the initial idea and then they keep building requirements on to it. Before they know it may become overwhelmed.

The thing to do in this situation is take the first simple and thereby doable version of the idea and implement that. Instead of trying to get the concept perfect. This is one of the best ways to start things. Frequently, my article start with the simplest of ideas and rather than waiting until I got some sort of Mangum openness, I type the first sentence into the online editor of my blog. That gets me going, and because it actually creates a draft entry of the article on the site it makes it just a little bit more real. Now, not all ideas come to fruition. Sometimes I find other sites covering the same topic and doing much better job. In which case I may simply reference them in an later article. Sometimes what seemed as a great idea doesn't hold water the next day. It's is all part of my creative process. The big point here is that you start with whatever you've got.

This also conditions you to not overthinking everything and actually getting something off the ground. Over 12 years ago when I started this blog it sat dormant for many years and then one day boat four years ago I just decided to start adding content and now we are at 165 articles. They are not all by any means literary masterpieces, but slowly and surely I am getting better at this and the monthly views are following suit. At this point in time I can't even remember why I started the site and that doesn't matter. What matters is I enjoy what I'm doing and I know in a small way I am adding content and value to the good old Internet😀

So don't think too much about a new idea but take steps toward a small goal as fast as you can. That helps keep it real and gets you going on whatever the adventure is.

The other thing I hear a great deal when talking with people is ingrained automatic habits that they are barely aware of . These habits can have great effects both positive and negative. Here's an example:

A coffee lover who has an important event in next day. Normally they enjoy their Java throughout the day. But in this case the night before and have to be alert at their event they drink double the amount of coffee. Because that is what to do when they're nervous. Of course but they don't always realize is that they are guaranteeing themselves to have a bad night's rest. Breaking this little habit for them is very challenging. They have relied on this mechanism for a long time. Even though it is totally counterproductive and works against them ultimately.

This same scenario can take different forms but you get the idea. Small little habits that don't seem to be harmful at all and yet if you're not totally aware of what you're doing these little routines can spell a guaranteed scuttling of your ship. So start tracking what you're doing will you go throughout your day especially when you're in stressful moments. I have a feeling you are going to find a few of these little habits kicking around and actually ingrained behaviour can become someone conscious that the only way you know it's there is because of your emotional reaction.

Take care,and as usual feel free to leave comments.

Patrick

The Active Versus Passive Mind.

AI generated re-creation of
The Thinker sculpture by Auguste Rodin sculpture.
Software used: Vision FX 2.0 by Distinct AI

 Active vs. the passive mindset-- Would you rather ride the train or just watch it pass you by?

Once again my daily life has provided me with the idea for this article. I simply cannot believe how often I'm inspired to write by just the simplest in small events.

Today is a holiday Monday here in British Columbia Canada and when I went downstairs for lunch someone asked me what I did today. I rattled off the following: "Helped an elderly person with their computer issue. Did another section of my online course in computer science. Researched a few technical problems on my blog...." They looked at me for a moment and said "Yes, but what do you like to do for fun?" To which I replied "It's the same thing as what I just said." Then they said "Okay, what don't you like to do?" My reply was (and is) "Waste time." They looked mildly astonished and that was the end of the conversation.

Now please don't get me wrong, I do occasionally like to have a day off where I just relax, but it is not my regular state of being. My curiosity and desire to add something to my life each day are driving forces. I simply cannot abide just sitting there watching the train go by. At the very least I'm going to ride that train. For me life is far too short and far too precious. I do not believe in an afterlife, but even if I did, I would not want to waste each day. The very fact that I can interact with the world and be aware of that interaction is something that I find amazing. It is obvious as well that to be alive and sentiment might be quite a rare combination. I course as I get older I become aware even more it each day is short. So bottom line, I am not going to waste it by being passive and just watch life go by.

However, it seems that there are a lot of people, at least in my surroundings, that to want to just let the train of life go by rather then ride it. Now don't get me wrong, I do occasionally like to have a day off and just relax. But it is not my default state. Hearing from people that they would rather just chill out and continually not really participate in the life just price me a little crazy. Because I want to do the exact opposite.

Right now, I want to  understand this passive point of view. As you can probably tell admit quite a number of people like this. Many of them very bright and young in their 30s if not late 20s. As I write this article I am pondering ways to understand their behaviour. They must be getting something out of it. Could it be their life is so empty that they just are used to going through the routine? I don't think so. Several years ago, when I was waiting to move in to my current assisted living building I spent some time on a respite ward while I was waiting. The room was small but I did have my laptop with me and the staff were very enthusiastic that I was there. I didn't spend my time watching TV, rather when I heard from the staff that the floor's Wi-Fi was intermittent, I got on the phone to the local provider and because of my background in IT was able to work with them to clearly articulate the problem. Ultimately they sent out a technician and the issue was found and fixed. This is what I like to do, --fix things-- it just makes sense to me. I had previously assumed that this was the way life worked. That even if people more outwardly motivated, there was indeed something driving them inside. I still think this is true. Human race simply wouldn't have evolved if we were content to sit on a rock.

So is this mental passivity, of just letting the train go by, a symptom of something I touched on in an earlier article (To benefit from Challenge, Is the Meaning of Life) , aversion to challenge, and could it be that people are losing their ability to undertake challenging tasks or projects. Could then the default reaction be "Since I'm uncomfortable with challenge and the time it takes, I will just sit on the sidelines and watch things go by."  Boy, oh boy, I hope that's not the ultimate answer to this question. Still, the answer just doesn't seem right. Life itself is not passive. It does not just sit there. It finds ways to multiply and at the very least exist. Given a long time life usually ends up thriving in the most unlikely of places and environments. The hot acidic underwater vents come to mind.

I have no one people who outwardly appear to be mentally passive and content to watch the train go by but many of them are just deep deep thinkers. They consider an issue and relish solitude in order to devote themselves entirely to the matter at hand. They can be quirky and eccentric but I'm telling you their minds are active. The very antithesis of this situation I'm describing.

Over the past few months I have tried to motivate some people here and the seemed to gravitate back to their original state which is in my book wasting life. I remember my parents saying "What do you want to do when you grow up?" I always had an answer and it might be electronics or playing a musical instrument. At one point I nearly next my father to death about building a steam engine out of coffee cans and plastic tubing. (I was probably around six years old then. At the time it seemed completely logical to me.)

Okay, we have definitely defined that I'm different among my group in this building... But I sure would like to motivate some of the other people here. It seems like it's such a waste to be alive and not take advantage of it. Yes we are all disabled, and some of us have some pretty severe conditions. For the severest of which I understand where they want to keep your life simple. It is not those people I am pondering about, it is the people that are sufficiently adapted to their situation that they do have a choice on how they proceed through life.

The benefits of an active mindset are many. For one thing you enjoy life the very state of being. You see potential and change all about. It is impossible to have an active mind and not be curious. The active mindset also has the ability to carry you through rough times. If you are stuck and can't do anything about your situation you automatically look for other avenues that you can effect. Someone came up to me yesterday and asked where they would purchase a "wheelchair wraparound desk" the Canadian paraplegic popped into my head. They would probably know where to get one. There are enough people in the workforce that I'm sure even the local Staples office furniture store might have some in stock. Again what blew me away about the request was that the person had absolutely no idea where to start and they have been in their wheelchair for life.

… I think I just figured this out. I think, and please do tell me if you think I'm wrong, it's the one the difference between myself and people with passive mindsets is that "challenge" as being part of my lifestyle as far back as I can remember. My father had polio and was one of the first, if not the first practising disabled anaesthesiologists in Canada. Since I was born in 1959 this is quite some time ago. Can you imagine the challenges he faced. There were no accessibility laws or standards and if you've ever been down a old sidewalk you will note that not only are there no cutaways the sidewalk is very high. My father could walk with braces but that would mean he would really have to swing himself to get up and down on sidewalks. Talk about challenge. I think that is it. So how do we bring useful challenge into the modern lifestyle. How do we make things a wee bit difficult but keep them meaningful.? Definitely let me know what you think.

Take care for now. Patrick

My Magic Potion for Success

 

**Used under provisions:
"Fair Dealing" Canada and
"Fair Use" United States.

 

It has taken a long time for me to realize that I have a "magic potion for success". What follows is a list of ingredients:

⭐Act on the idea in some way immediately. This can be jotting down the concept or making a quick recording, but to make a permanent record of your inspiration. In enough detail so that you can fully remember the train of thought leader. This does not mean you have to write the entire book now but so many great ideas get lost in our busy world.

⭐Recognize that this will take time to fully evolve and make plans for ways to get back on track should life throw you a curve ball. The best ideas can take a long time to fully flush out. So be realistic and be prepared to reevaluate things as you go along. Very often an idea can evolve to include many more aspects. If necessary rather than trying to create an all-encompassing project, limit it to an achievable outcome. It may be the first of many versions and that's fine.

⭐Sometimes along the way of your journey you find that the idea has completely changed. Again, there's nothing wrong with that. Take a look at your expectations and if the new version fits within those boundaries, continue the project.

⭐If it is a long undertaking deliberately insert appropriate breaks. Even with the best big ideas it is healthy to step away for a while. Nothing hampers creativity like burnout. Burnout can best be avoided by diversifying the activities you undertake. It doesn't matter how much you like your project, if it becomes all-consuming for too long the quality will suffer and probably so will you. Everybody has an activity they become very enthusiastic about and spend many hours at it but please watch out for burnout and take appropriate action. Usually your friends or loved ones will start sending you signals ahead of time that you need to come out for a breath of fresh air. So keep your options open.

⭐⭐Bonus point: Expect to change. All major events change you. One of the things people forget when we are planning for success is that, they will fundamentally be different if they succeed. Perhaps and only a small way but you will have changed. So plan for it. It's analogous to going from childhood, to adolescence and then finally to adulthood. At each step of the way you were different. Success in your endeavour will change you.

There you have it. My short recipe for success in almost any undertaking. Like all good ideas it need not be long or complex to express.

As usual leave comments and take care.
Patrick

NOTE:
**Source of image at the top of this article. This image has been very stylized by myself using Corel Paint Shop Pro. I was browsing through Google image search when this photo from an eBay auction appeared. I remembered almost the exact model sitting in my grandmother's kitchen. When the idea for this short article occurred to me this seemed like a perfect image. No copyright or rights infringement is intended.

To benefit from Challenge, Is the Meaning of Life.

 To benefit from Challenge, Is the Meaning of Life

In the last two days I have had several people sitting me things like "oh this is too hard..." or "this was supposed to be easy." and "I hate ' XYZ' because it is hard." (Implying that they won't even try doing the task because they perceive it to be difficult.)

Challenge and difficulty are essential components of life. Without them, a person over time will in some sense literally de-evolve, they will lose basic skills. This is a self evident statement. People were much better doing basic mathematics before the calculator as an obvious example. But we are now entering a time in society where people expect things to be easy all the time. This has me worried and honestly surprised.

Now, I understand the natural desire to take the simpler road, especially if it makes your life smoother, but just not all the time. The default choice must not be the path of least resistance. Difficulty has its benefits and they are usually long term. It keeps you engaged with the idea of growing, whether the perceived difficulty is undertaking a new field of study or doing something that is different and perhaps slightly uncomfortable, as most new things are.

It is not so much what you learn or experience, it is the tools you discover along the way which can be used in different contexts to solve other challenges. One can only be a good problem solver if they have run into a few problems in the first place. Personally I love a good challenge and my boss knows this 😀. Sometimes he will just give me a task and let me dig through it. I am very lucky to have a volunteer job which has the latitude built in to do this. That does not mean there are deadlines, it  means there is the breathing room to explore. 

I totally admit that, I like difficulty, with the qualification that said difficulty has to be meaningful and have a goal. At the very least there needs to be a possibility of resolution. The process as always is a learning process and that is what I really personally enjoy. I'm taking a computer science and Python course on Brilliant.org and I must admit I'm having a blast. It is nice to feel the brain cells "stretching" and hopefully multiplying in the process.

What I don't understand is why people now seem to be averse to learning and working through the process of gaining new knowledge. But some people really are reticent on this point. I have seen people get very angry and I honestly don't get their reaction. The human brain is ment to learn, but we appeared will learned a weird lesson, that the act of learning itself is not good… "What is going on?! " is my usual reaction. Where is this behaviour coming from? More importantly how can we turn people back on to learning and undertaking challenge?

Here are some answers that have occurred to me and of course, the list is incomplete and I may be totally wrong. Let me know in the comments.

• People need to take some time to get to know their reflexive behaviours. To question why they are having said reaction. In short get to know themselves a little bit better. This does not mean they have to become a Buddhist monk or undertake some grand therapy. Just not be so externalized. Stop reacting instantaneously to everything around themselves and ask is the reaction doing anything positive for themselves. Then they can understand why they are resistant to undertaking a challenge.
  
  
• Think about what the end goal is. If it is too vague like "I want to make money easily." Then it would be impossible to start because there is no central idea and thereby no way to know when you're at the end of the goal. Keeping a task vague guarantees to keep it difficult. If you find yourself in this situation take a look at why you are being so big in the first place about the idea. This point relates to other points in this list but it cannot be understated.
  
  
• Getting over their biases against difficulty. Yes, some things are just difficult and rather than complaining about it being difficult one just has to undertake what ever the activity is. Sometimes to discover that once started the perceived challenge is not such a big deal. But they do have to start the process.
  
  
• Things take time to accomplish. Especially if it involves changing preconceptions, and one may have to start with very small steps. The trick here is to keep one's eye on the goal. If the goal is to vague then I suggest putting it down to something definable.
  
  
• Lastly make a plan on what to do if something interrupts this process. 

 

Often it's as simple as making a promise to yourself that should something get in the way temporarily that you will just pick up where you left off. It may take a few tries before you see progress toward resolving the challenge. All good things are worth fighting for.😀

 

I had a friend who for many years wanted to write a science fiction story and had aspirations of selling thousands of copies of their literary masterpiece. The trouble less than ever sat down and went through the above list, rather they always spoke about the ultimate outcome. This went on for years until eventually they just gave up. When I reflected on this memory it was obvious that they never told me what the story was about, and I didn't realize it at the time because of all the enthusiasm they showed.

So if I had to boil all this down to one point, I would say: "Embrace the Difficulty!"

 

 

I have made the following 21.6 x 27.94cm (8.5 x 11 inch) poster which prints nicely on a standard sheet of paper. Feel free to download and print it. Clicking on the image will download the 9 MB JPEG image file from my Google Drive. It is detailed enough to enlarge well beyond that paper size as well

Okay that about does it for this article. Feel free to watch the included video it covers essentially the same thing.

Take care Patrick